Ever see that movie Lost in Translation with Bill Murray and Scarlett Johansson? Probably not. I only saw it once and felt so alienated by its theme and pace that I hardly remember it all. But if you've ever dropped from a high place into darkness, not knowing whether you'd live or die, but knowing either way you'd be all alone with no one and nothing to bring you back but yourself, then you get the movie.
My first few days in Tokyo reminded me very much of this because I too was jet lagged horribly and feeling lost to the whims of forces beyond my control. Unlike both of the actors and almost everyone else though, I don't have alcohol and a wide open diet to give me comfort. You'd be amazed how much of our happiness comes from certain foods. Its only when we cant get them that reality hits hard. At home I make my own food and enjoy the benefits of stores which carry everything I want and need. But here in Japan not only is what I want and need difficult to obtain, the very concept of them is alien to the Japanese people.
To quote Bill Murray talking about his role in the movie:
"When you go to a foreign country, truly foreign, there is a major shock of consciousness that comes on you when you see that, "Oh God, it's just me here." There's nobody, no neighbors, no friends, no phone calls just room service."
—Bill Murray, speaking about Bob Harris
Of course this movie was filmed in 2002 and much has changed since that time. But its still the most densely populated city in the world at a whopping 38 million, up 3 million from 2002 but currently slated to drop below that 2002 number In just a few years. Japan now has a negative population growth and will soon not have enough young people to support their people, but I suppose that's what the robots are for. No one has invested more in machine caretaking of society than the Japanese. With the invention of smart phones and now AI, communications between different languages have never been easier, but that doesn't exactly minimize the feeling of isolation, it simply alters the path by which it effects you.
For instance, imagine you can, in theory, ask any question you want, getting directions to anywhere you want, all in the palm of your hand, but the reality is still the same, your a foreigner in a foreign land, one that either loves or hates you, most likely a mixture of both. Especially as an American.
Don't forget the US dropped the first and only two nuclear weapons ever to be used against human beings on Japan in 1945. The Japanese are long lived and proud. It shouldn't have amazed me when I tell people I'm American and they go sober in the face, while when I say I'm German they become animated and respect fills their eyes.
The Japanese respect authority to a religious extent, much in the same vein as every other country, but they also have a deep history of being ruled over by "living gods," as their emperor during World war 2 was. A worship which was made state policy. It was only after "Fat man" and "little boy," the names given to the bombs which obliterated Hiroshima and Nagasaki, that the allied forces were able to force this confession out of their emperor:
"The ties between Us and Our people have always stood upon mutual trust and affection. They do not depend upon mere legends and myths. They are not predicated on the false conception that the Emperor is divine, and that the Japanese people are superior to other races and fated to rule the world."
— Official translation of the Declaration[4]
Even long before the emperors fall from divinity the Japanese people worshiped shoguns as absolute authorities whose word was law and long before that the Gods had come to Japan and given them everything they needed to become a powerhouse of culture and technology. So you must imagine the raging internal conflict they have over prostrating themselves to authority, while also being unable to forget the horrors which those powers inflicted upon them only to fall all the same.
Of course Buddhism heavily curtailed these feelings in some sense, as did Shinto, the official religion of Japan which is essentially the worship of nature, but the point must be made that a deep rooted pessimism exists inside them, one that very much wants to obey authority, yet is wary of all that entails.
These feelings and misgivings are directly translated into harsh observances of etiquette and a supernatural stoicism in the face of them. While many of the youth in Japan are stepping far away from this, the old ways still dominate, and seeing the world turn into the shit show it has in recent years even more of the youth are doubling down on the old ways, creating another generation of such hard nosed no nonsense type Japanese people.
So while many Japanese people want to reach out, desperately in many cases, they do so weighed down by everything I just mentioned, most especially when conversing with an American, who represents only the latest death blow to one of their Gods. A spit in the face which is only magnified by Americas own rapid fall from grace which began with its failures in the Korean war and has only accelerated since then with every failed war and failed social responsibility it supposedly works towards.
One might assume that Japan will remain as it has post WWII through the same tireless work and dedication towards national and social stability which has elevated it into a financial superpower, but one would be wrong. In the last two years alone Japan has changed its pacifist constitution in order to rearm in the face of Chinese expansion. Something which would have been not only unthinkable to the Japanese only a few years ago, but also unacceptable to the West where the US is concerned. Instead the the US is actually supporting these actions, and not only for the Japanese, but for the Germans too, who have also altered their constitution in order to create and army in the face of Russia's actions in Ukraine.
For Japan the dropping of the bombs turned their world away from war, the "never again" slogan aimed at peace at all costs. But the threat of being conquered by China has changed that.
For the Germans the wars end turned them away from radicalization and "never again" meant a well maintained but limited government devoid of ideologues. But the forced influx of entirely different and in fact completely opposed cultures, followed with one self inflicted financial gunshot in the foot after another through green policies which made their own energy independence impossible, a fact only multiplied many times over by refusing Russian energy, has also changed that.
And so here I am, a German American in Tokyo, lost in translation at the end of time, reaching for my place in a world trying its hardest to self destruct. What am I to do but cut the fuse?