After roughly two weeks here in Bratislava it's finally time to leave. It's been really slow in Slovakia, but I've met some good people here and had good times. Our destination? Prague. Hitlers favorite city, which is the only reason it wasn't leveled to dust like most everything else in Europe during the war. Fun fact huh? As usual I make my way to the station alone by taking the bus. And as usual Zane is late, arriving by car. I get a Subway sandwich before our bus arrives and devour it before it departs, not that I endorse Subway, or even sandwiches for that matter, which are abominations anyway you slice it, but being stuck without food on a bus or anywhere for that matter, is an undesirable situation, especially while traveling. Luckily I also had a bag of oranges for us to eat, which lasted till we ate the last two while leaving Prague's bus station. My first impressions of Prague were really very good. It is a clean city, rich in history, culture and architecture, again, thanks to Hitler, with plenty to see and do. Among Prague's other prestigious accolades are it's draw of people from all over the world for vacationing and that it has some of the cheapest and finest beer I've ever tasted, and taste it we did, repeatedly...We checked into our hostel and unloaded our bags. The whole place was themed, each room having the name of the artist who painted it on the door. Ours was peter, with a sunflower theme. Just like Hungary, the Czech Republic is outside of the European Union, thus our euros needed to be changed. We asked the young lady at the desk where we could get a good rate and exchanged some money there before heading out on the town. The first place we went was the main square, where Zane was during Christmas and incidentally where the Christmas market is held. There were a few stands set up at the end with people inside and out, handing out promotions for clubs or dealing drugs in hushed tones to those alternatively minded enough to make such a visual impression, depending on the pushers critique of you of course. We didn't buy drugs offered in hushed tones or give any serious consideration to the club promotions, we just walked on, finally coming to and crossing one of the famous bridges leading to the castle on the other side of the river that divides Prague. We got to the top of the hill, which overlooked the city in a beautiful swath of open panoramic space, then ate dinner at a monk brewery inside the old church walls. It was very strong beer, and the food was delicious. Zane said it was his first time having duck. It was all pretty pricey, but worth it. At having met our elegance quota for the day, if not the entire week, thanks to the duck and celibate recipe beer, we shifted gears and headed back to our hostel with a bottle of rum, beers, a group of Canadians and a Hungarian woman. The group of us very quickly became too loud for our surroundings and took the party to the brewery next door. There, a string of unfortunate events lead us both back to the hostel in sorrier shape than before.First, Zane and I were having a drinking contest with our 1L beers, seeing who could finish faster than the other, but I was too drunk to keep drinking so I tried giving my beer to the Hungarian woman, but Zane wasn't going to let that happen, and slapped the beer out of my hands and spilt the whole thing on the table. To which Zane started laughing uncontrollably. Then we, As in I, started yelling about this and that political thing with the Canadians, at which point they left, presumably for bed.Second, I went to the bathroom and tripped straight down the stairs nearly knocking down a waitress in my path, I curled and avoided her though. She just happened to be our waitress as well and had the stink eye on me the rest of the night, clearly with good reason. On our way out of the brewery, Zane ran and tackled me into the street, giggling as we both tumbled to the ground, but I don't remember that, the Hungarian told me the next day after I complained about how bad my ass hurt. "It was probably when Zane tackled you in the street." She said, "what, he tackled me?" I asked, totally surprised. "Oh yeah.. Pretty hard too. That's when I decided to go home, you guys were on whole other level. Do you remember what happened after that?" She asked, with mused interest. To make things easier on us both I summed up the night with," we just went out and drank more, walking a long way and then came home." All true, but completely devoid of specifics, a conversational specialty of mine usually employed by lawyers, salesman, politicians, philosophers and compulsive liars alike. What I do remember after the brewery is going to some super sleazy strip club in the same square we were earlier today, with blue tinted black lights everywhere, and shadowy characters in every corner of the establishment all thinking about the contents and limitations of things in their pants, or lack there of as it was for us. For in places like this the only thing one does is hand money to naked ladies, or leave, nothing else. So we ordered stiff drinks, finished them in a haze of cigarette smoke, watching bodies twisting and turning in ways best left to the imagination, words failing to express what is otherwise an experience held in private quarters at establishments just like this. After leaving we were immediately surrounded by shades approaching from the alleys outside the club, and were offered the same drugs by the same people as earlier, only now there was nothing hushed about their tones, no critiques or double takes in their choice of words or to whom they are spoken. If your on this street, at this hour, coming out of that strip club, your either already on drugs, or looking for some, and the guys to sell it to you are right there, they always are. So we talk to these guys for a minute and the first thing they show me is a bag of what looked like laundry detergent. Zane and I just laugh at them, pointing at the little blue balls that lined the bag. Without skipping a beat the short and stalky, leather jacket wearing dealer puts away the laundry detergent and pulls out a bag of green stuff, and when a good smell of its contents clears inspection and passes mustard I buy some before our long walk back home. Before we return to the hostel, Zane and I get pizza and veggie kebabs. Zane was out of Czech money so he used the $10 I gave to Zuzka for gas money in Bratislava, which she gave to him because she owed him $10 as well. Now Zanes using it to pay for our food.Zane woke up the next morning without any small change and swore the kebab guy just took all of the change after we got our food. I've had it happen before and we were very drunk, happens all the time. Ahh the flow of money, how creative! We then crossed the street and smoked outside the front door of the hostel, falling asleep promptly upon finishing. It was a good night, but not without it's appropriate toll.
The Bloody Countess
It was a rough time settling back into Slovakia. I got a devilish cough right after leaving Hungary, coughing up putrid yellow muck every couple minutes all day. Maybe I got it from drinking and smoking for so many days straight or maybe from the Hungarian Baths, either way it looks like it's here to stay a while, I actually know it will because this post is so long ago now, it lasted two weeks! Zane and I haven't been seeing much of each other because he's always on the other side of the city, but its cool because I get to talk to Pedro and check out more of the city on my own. Which isn't all that interesting actually, being in the industrial zone of the city and all. But people watching is always fun and highly informative. It was actually very pleasant outside today though, didn't even need my extra jacket or scarf when I walked to the super market to buy a water melon, which came from Brazil, beat and carrot juice in a tetra pack and a bag of oranges to boost my immune system. The watermelon was excellent! It was so good I ravaged through it in total absence of manners or common decency, eating it much like you see zombies munching down on fresh brains, gruesome and yet so refreshing... I was sure that I lost my scarf, which I've had for over 10 years now, my sister Michelle gave it to me for my birthday before going to study and work abroad in South Korea. I went back to the store to look for it, they hadn't seen it. So I bought another watermelon and pumpkin seeds, as I was putting the seeds in my laptop pocket of the pack I found the scarf! So happy about that.Anyway Zuzka's parents invited us to the countryside over the weekend where we'll be staying at the cottage they've been remodeling over the years. Looks like we've been recruited to help, should prove interesting. The day we left we all met at Zuzkas and then took two cars to the cottage. It was a short drive, 2 hours or so, with lots of highway and then a 40 minute drive through the Slovakian countryside, which was pretty standard as far as the sights were concerned, especially since it was night time. Entering the old house, one could see its features flowing from old rustic farm cottage with Soviet era decor to modern construction. It had a powerful wood burning stove that kept us all cozy and a lovely kitchen that had a dragon carved into the wall by Zuzka's father. We sat down for a candle lit dinner and some homemade palinka, the national liquor, while watching something on television in Slovakian, which I randomly guessed to be Final Destinations 5, and was right. Not that I've ever seen it, but it had all the classic signs of the franchise. A little chit chat and we were off to bed. The next day we all worked moving the building supplies from the shed into the second story window of the cottage. It wasn't very hard work but it was so cold that even with gloves I couldn't feel my fingers. Once finished it was time for food and drink, which always included polinka, no matter what.. Wake up? Have a polinka. Finish work? Have a polinka. Finish eating? Have a polinka? Finish up in the bathroom? Good for you, have a polinka... And on and on it goes.Zuzka told us about a place not too far away where the Bloody Countess of Slovakia once lived and tortured her victims. Having both fought this same Countess in Diablo II, a video released in 2000 on pc, and a game of some renown, Zane and I were very interested in her true history. So we got in the car and drove further into the countryside, eventually coming face to face with the ruined tower of evil. The verifiable history of the countess states that with the help of her aids, she was able to kidnap, torture and then bath in the blood of over 40 Virgins found in the villages surrounding the castle, and that these murders took place while the countesses husband was off at war. Needless to say the pictures and diagrams depicting these events were less than savory, and easily exemplified the worst attributes of human existence. Most of the tower remains buried to this day, so many invaders came through the area over the last 300 years that very little of the structure remains. A park service runs the ruin now, I think we payed 2.5€ each to get in. It was really interesting actually, being in a place repeatedly, digitally of course, and then to finally be in the actual physical space some 16 years later. Zane had lost the last nug of his tree somewhere and we looked for it on the way back to the car, we also looked for a place to eat but the city was dead. When we got back to the cottage he scoured the earth for that nug, eventually finding it against a fence boarding the neighbors yard, he was so happy then, like a child on Christmas morning. He went to enjoy the booty in the broken down barn next to the cottage and I went inside where dinner, warmth and Palinka were waiting...