Its friday in Bietigheim, that can only mean one thing. Oma will have coffee and cake at Armin's and we'll all be going. Once were there everyone will get into the usual business of disseminating the newest local gossip. How bad the new parking laws in town are and what a catastrophe it is. Whose died over the passed week and what effect it's had on those left behind. Inevitably these topics are followed by someone saying, "Jesus mary!.." Or "its unbelievable! Or "children of men!" Ahh the German vernacular, what a gem. In small towns such as Beitighiem gossip is the original telegram. Its a system with very limited accuracy and tends to cause more issues than it solves but in the long run, its a cultural item not likely to ever fade away into antiquity. While everyone busied themselves with bread, milk, sugar, and caffeine I partook of the pineapple resting shyly on the table. Cutting it into small pieces and placing them into the bowl it previously occupied as a whole. Once the work was done, the bread and sugar were abandoned until the pineapple was no longer available, then their consumption was resumed.We talked about education in Germany and Americas failure with it in every sense of the word, or more accurately I talked about it and they listened. A situation I have successfully avoided more and more these days, in favor of listening, which is hard for me, but due to considerable gains attributed to this new skill, I have learned to bite my tongue, many times nearly biting it off in the attempt, especially if it becomes political. After this we returned home. I had made plans to go out with Sophia Green, Luisa's younger sister and a designer to be, following in her mothers foot steps. Coming along with Sophia were Jule, a tough and beautiful young lady. Also in the car were friends of Sophia's I met at a party on the Rhine last summer. My cousin Lisa and her boyfriend Manuel also joined us. The plan was to go to the Brauhause in Karlsruhe. Although we left before my cousin, and Jule was driving the backroads like a nascar driver, they arrived there before us. We ordered pizzas with Gin and tonics, and before I knew it we had left the Brauhause in a friendlier, more acquainted group. Lisa and Manuel went home and the rest of us went to a fancy bar inside of a hotel. They brought Zane and I gin and tonics but when I set my drink on an empty table right next to us and went to the bathroom it was gone when I returned. I asked the waitress where it went and she had no idea. When we all vouched for the situation she magically remembered that she had taken it and put it on her desk.My drink was then returned and we went home in the same nascar fashion that brought us to Karlsruhe and easily faded into deep sleep in the attic of Oma's cozy home.
Escape From Berlin
The sun had yet to rise in eastern Berlin, but the time of day was an irrelevant matter when I chose to get up. My mouth was as dry as the Golbi desert and I had finally reached the limits of whirl winding in my sweat soaked sheets like a fire dervish in heat wrapped in cotton straight jackets. Peter, Annika, her robust friend, Zane and I left the house around 11. Before we left for the station, Zane bought a little blue lighter from across the street to spark with before, during and after our 8 hour bus ride to my little home town in the south-west of Germany, known as Beitighiem. A small little village, as the locals call it, of no more than 6,300 souls. We all boarded the train and as we did I pointed out five open seats in a row close to us, but Annika pointed to the back and lead the way triumphantly without even registering my suggestion. There was only four seats together where she lead us to, and so one of us would be the odd man out on the other side. This man just happened to be me, and how perfect too, because as I sat down the woman across from me immediately started handing me pamphlets about kitten rescues and such, her plastic bag was over flowing with them so I guess she thought it best to share. She spoke in such rapid high German, an advanced form of the language spoken mostly in the major cities, all of which was slurred by her missing teeth and overly salivating mouth, that I couldn't understood a thing she was saying. Finally after a good two minute rant with eyes locked on me like a cats while lurking its prey, and more pamphlets refused but left on my lap regardless, I informed her in English that my German wasn't good enough to understand her. I chose to do so in English thinking that this would dissuade her but it had the opposite effect. "Ahhh, English?!" She said with renewed vigor, she then rummaged through her purse, carelessly dropping a stack of pamphlets on the floor and then unfolding her wallet, which dropped a folded chain of something like 15 laminated coupons attached to it. She got closer and continued speaking her slither tung German with broken English in between. "My Son.." She said pointing almost violently at a faded picture of a man in his 20's, who it seemed to me, was no longer anywhere close to that age given her own, and they were very likely not on speaking terms, or so I assumed.She then showed me another picture, this one faded and torn, it was of an aged woman in a sun dress, somewhere in the streets of a big city, Berlin id imagine. "My mother..." She said, rather lamentably, with a far away look in her eyes which faded instantly as soon as the train stopped to let on more passengers. Her eyes flaring up at us and to the door, and back to us again. Time and space coming back to her she flipped to the last picture which was of her in a nurses uniform, probably not more than 10 years ago. "Me.. Me!" She said, with a wicked grin.While all of this was happening Zane and the others were quietly cracking up to themselves about whole affair. I was annoyed, yes, but for more reasons than having the privilege of being introduced to this pamphlet pushing tram sleuths family. The masala incident was still very fresh on my body and mind, also, given the veto of my choice to sit together unmolested in exchange for this, I was more apt towards cold and calculating looks towards our new friend than is usual for me. In any case, I took a deep breath and reached into my bag, handing her an apple I had bought earlier. "It's organic" I told her in German. By the look on her face you would have thought I had just helped her escape Auschwitz before her work set her free in less amiable of circumstances. She grabbed my hands without warning and shook them vigorously, thanking me three times with her twisted smile before blowing me a kiss, quickly standing and running out the door, leaving a trail of pamphlets behind her.Everyone had a good laugh as she left, except me of course, "the back is better huh Annika?" I said with a exhausted half hearted chuckle. We all got off the train, boarded another and after a few stops it was only us brothers. Finding our way to the bus depot we decided it would be wise to eat lunch before our long ride. We chose Andy's diner, a classic American copy cat establishment in the same building as the depot. I ordered a salad and potato wedges while Zane got linguini or something to that effect with a beer. Before we had eaten even 30% of our food we paid the bill, taking the wedges to go, without ketchup, which Zane quickly pointed out was a drastic error in judgment, and we ran out the door in hopes of getting good seats on the bus. When we got on board, there weren't any two seats in unison open to us, Not wanting to be separated I asked a lady sitting alone if she wouldn't mind changing seats to the other aisle where another man was sitting. Luckily for us, she easily accepted the offer and moved. We settled in and in moments the bus was on the way to Karlsruhe, the biggest town closest to Bietigheim. A few hours later we stopped at the expected highway robbery rest stop with prices so high they even give airports and amusement parks a run for their money. Three euros for a pack of gum and five for a half liter bottle of water? I think not good sir... Since we weren't interested in the rap fest going on inside, and we still had a full 45 minutes to kill before our bus continued on, we walked over to the children's playground and scaled the rope wall, crossed the chain bridge and sat together in the tower with the escape slide attached. Zane pulled out his little blue lighter and lights up his pipe. It was windy and pretty cold, so it took a few attempts. He hit it, then as he handed me the lighter It slipped from his hands down the slide and landed in the sand. I followed behind it and tried to hit the pipe, but it was a no good. Zane wanted to see it and as I handed it to him It slipped from my hands in between the chain bridge, again landing in the wet sand. For the next 30 minutes we tried everything to get it to light, eventually, with enough bangs against the towers frame it lighted, I hit it, and we boarded the bus. When we finally arrived in Karlsruhe it was 11pm, we took a taxi to Oma's which cost me €38.5 Euros. Oma said she would pay, but as we arrived I wouldn't hear of it. We all greeted for a moment and then went upstairs to sleep. After a few long painful days, Im glad to finally be in my home away from Home. ☺️
Party In The DDR
At 0600 we checked out of WoW hostel and sat on the bench outside smoking the last of the pot. We still had magic mushroom truffles with us but didn't care to risk them on our flight to Berlin, thus we simply left both containers and their instruction manuals on that same bench, and headed for the airport. If a hostel full of hopped up party animals can't make use of them, Im sure the janitor, who saw us leave them there, will have a nice little giggle with them while performing his daily tasks. Although I can just as well imagine him using them for more nefarious purposes, or simply throwing them away, we may never know.Once on the flight Zane put down his food tray and covered it with a jacket then laid his head down over it. He stayed in this position for the two hour duration of the flight, even as the person in front of him repeatedly slammed back in their seat attempting to recline, which would slam Zane's head each time in the process, but didn't phase him.Meanwhile I was nodding off back and forth in delirium. Which is the least beneficial, rest wise and the most damaging to your neck, but since I find it incredibly difficult to sleep sitting up, it would have to do. Once we landed we bought 3 day, all public transport passes for 29 Euros each and took the train to the outskirts of Berlin where our couch surfing host Annika lives. After exiting the station we walked a ways in her general direction, passing what seemed like whole city blocks of derelict buildings, which they probably were, this is the old East German portion of Berlin after all. The first building we went to was the wrong place, which itself ended up being an abandoned manufacturing plant of some kind. The second try was the correct one, we rang the bell and were let in by her roommate Thomas.Thomas was very courteous and helpful, open too. As he smoked a rolled cigarette and drank Hell beer, he told us about how him and Annika had started out as roommates then became lovers. Which despite what everyone else in the flat thought of, they went with anyway. "Which of course ended badly," he said, yet they still remain as roommates even now. After telling us this story he showed us the flat, which was not at all what you'd expect from the outside. It had a huge bubbler jacuzzi in one of the bathrooms, which didn't work but was just as impressive to look at, with a toilet, bidet, urinal, two basin sink, and a large marble shower room with rectangular plates on each corner that shot out water, it was a full body shower room, like being sprayed with a fire hose from all sides. Then there were four very nicely decorated and spacious bedrooms, and yet another bathroom with a normal shower, sink and toilet. Thomas said we were welcome to the food in the fridge and gave us the keys to the house before leaving to do some errands in town. Zane and I decided to grab a bite to eat, so I looked up a place on yelp that was close to us and we walked there together. The place was called Masala, the menu was all in German and the waiter was Indian but spoke no English. I ordered something Vegan and Zane went with the lamb curry. My meal was basically vegetables wrapped in leaves and smothered in Chinese sweet and sour sauce. It wasn't bad, but good isn't the right description either. Zane was happy with his choice though.Back at the apartment we both passed out for several hours until Thomas and another roommate, as well as two Israeli friends of Annika's showed up. The drinking and smoking began, but we had no supplies, so we went to the supermarket and bought four tall cans of beer, which was a shame, as Thomas put it, since they weren't in glass. To top it all off we got a 5th of Captain Kooks rum with a 1.5 liter bottle of Freeway cola, lol. All of which cost us something like 11 Euros. Once Annika and a few other people showed up the plan was to pregame (get drunk before the main event) at the house and go out to a club later. But the clubs don't open in Berlin until at least 11pm and the best time to go is 1am, or so we were told. In any case, after finishing the rum between us and a few beers, Zane still had his heart set on going to the clubs, but our hosts had other ideas.Annika & Thomas, Tal & Peter(the Israelis) Simone & Caroline(German girlfriends of Annika) Vincent(the French roommate) Zane and Myself all walked into the night and entered an old theater that had been abandoned immediately following the break up of East and West Germany. As I walked through this time warped piece of history I felt as though I was walking through the halls of the Titanic, had it been used extensively for 30 years and then simply been left to rot in dry dock for a half century. It really was spooky in a lot of ways, the grand red curtains torn upon the stage, hanging in tatters, old wooden chairs rotting into the floor, the hallways still lined with posters from the postwar period, faded in perfect hues of white and gray mold. We had split up into two groups while in the ballroom, Annika, Caroline and I went through the theater, along the aisles and up on stage, to the back where a wooden ladder led to the fly gallery above(where the ropes and cables are operated from above the stage) from there we squeezed through several tight spots and around a few ancient winches to the sky port access. We climbed up that and opened the hatch, where Zane and the others were already waiting. They had taken the stairs, which was the easy, but much less interesting way to reach the roof. From the top we could see lights reflecting off of the river that separates Berlin into two main areas. East and West. One side with new and brightly colored buildings, and the other with a quagmire of monotone miseries held together by lack of need or desire, to see them live, in any capacity other than pigeon coops once more. It was a fine time up on that roof, but by 4am not even the liquor could keep the icy wind from drawing us back to the house. And so it was. We returned to the comfortable confines of the apartment. Some of us continuing on till dawn, others fading into drunken slumber as soon as they got back, myself included..