Knowing

It's April 2nd, the day we leave for Yosemite. Our packing is mostly done and the final preparations for our departure are those we leave up to each other to preform, for they are the timeless functions of those in waiting, waiting for their journey into the unknown to begin. We spend these final moments with family and friends, enduring the false perception of our disconnection and letting our fears speak in place of ourselves, for lack of knowing what to say, or how to feel.It is an uncertain future for us to be sure, but as I've said before and will say again, nothing is certain, life itself is a mystery to be lived, for the only the for sure is that nothing is for sure. We may pursue that mystery with fanatical devotion and one day solve it, so should we choose, but that . Allowing oneself the opportunity to connect with what cannot be understood otherwise, giving in to the curiosity embedded within us all, you will find that beyond every unknown another awaits, so on and so forth, perhaps without end, and this itself may be the final mystery, one we can never truly know for sure, for how does one answer the question of how big is the universe, where does it end, and what is beyond that end? Until we go to that end and find out, a mystery in will remain.Basking in the mystery of existence since time immemorial we have found the courage to survive and thrive even in states of total ignorance, if only from the basic workings of science and nature, much less the forces of nature we now freely dabble with. The Large Hadron Collider for instance, "a massive 27km ring of superconducting magnets with a number of accelerating structures to boost the energy of the particles along the way," resides at the CERN laboratory beneath Switzerland and France and has since it's completion in 2008 made 8 significant discovers of particle physics, including the discovery of the higgs boson, "a particle theorized in 1964 by Robert Brout and François Englert,Peter Higgs, and Gerald Guralnik, C. Richard Hagen, and Tom Kibble" This new discovery was made by literally smashing particles together at nearly the speed of light, creating mini black holes in the process, enabling us to observe the primal energies that bind our universe together at birth. The Higgs Boson would explain the law of nature that determines a masses relation to other mass, we call this law Gravity, but up until now, we have had no working model of how it works, the Higgs Boson completes, theoretically at any rate, our model of the universe. This is BIG news.I'm not sure if i should be excited or extremely worried that not that long ago we were clubbing each other over the head with rocks and living in caves, totally at the wicked whims of superstition, and now were engaged in the creation of universes through the destruction of sub-atomic particles so that we can complete the model of everything that Einstein spent his entire life trying to finish. Not that I disapprove of scientific innovation and discovery, but given our history, one replete with lies and violence, a small degree of consideration is in order if we are to find comfort in the direction our species is going. I find no such comfort in blinding myself from what is plainly before us. It is the duty of each of every conscious being to grow, expanding it's knowledge and understanding in the pursuit of a greater future for it's kind, that is the driving force of life. How sad then, that so many of us are willfully ignorant, pleasantly distracted by the bells and whistles, smoke and mirrors of our time.In balancing yourself, is it difficult to find repose? What are the causes of your distractions? How much of your stress is self induced? Although answering these question for myself is a daily routine, they are questons I still find difficult to ask myself. How do we objectively observe ourselves without the weight of our judgements bringing us down, is there a benefit to avoiding this pain, when it is only through that pain we can understand ourselves and our motivations?Asking myself this very question I ponder the motivations for my leaving the US, leaving my family and my security, especially now, with everything that's happening in the world. Many answers come to mind, brotherhood being foremost, adventure and my tireless drive to explore a close second, but also the hope that my dreams are more than fantasy, the dream, however real, that the world will hold together long enough for my friends and I to see it, live it and remember it, for what it was, not for what it's becoming. It is a dream we've all shared at one point or another, the experience of adventuring beyond the lands of our birth and into the wilds of the unknown, together with those friends we cherish most. Now we begin such a journey, now we find the answers to the questions, those that were aware of, and those we have yet to ask..."Were it not for the pain and struggle we endure in life, there would be little to commend in it's living. For there is no greater illusion than growth without pain." Zod